Wednesday, April 25, 2007

smoking and ambition

this weather is so nice i don't want to do anything but sit outside and relax - i've probably taken 20 years off of my life this weekend alone - too many cigarettes - but quitting right now just doesn't seem possible. obviously i feel like crap most of the time and, ultimately, i am hurting myself in the long run, but i just can't bring myself to do it.

i don't know why anyone would smoke. it literally does kill you. a girl just walked by my window smoking a cigarette and i wondered how she started and if she regretted it. i'll tell you, it was the worst decision of my life but at the same time, what are you going to do. there's gotta be a reason for TRUTH propaganda commercials and pack a day smokers who live until they're 90. i don't think i would be that fortunate.

maybe i'm afraid of getting fat

maybe i already am fat

maybe it doesn't matter either way

one day i'll be smoke free

until then, i will smoke my last cig and head over the gas station.

oh and it's expensive too

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