what i came out of this weekend with

I'm not going to bitch and moan - this was one of the most absurd weekends i have ever had at Fairfield. I don't even know what prompted me and so many others to drink ourselves to death but there was a specific kind of feeling.

It spurred you to drink more and more. Well it's Fairfield, what do you expect? There was nothing else to do and May Day wasn't even in the Quad. It was disappointing to wake up and not see the cotton candy machine and the sumo wrestler suits. I felt absolutely no school spirit by having the event over by Lessings Field. People were just milling around looking for food - last year, people were into the scene. The whole mood just wasn't there this weekend so everyone just went and got blasted.


and it was excellent

smoking and ambition

this weather is so nice i don't want to do anything but sit outside and relax - i've probably taken 20 years off of my life this weekend alone - too many cigarettes - but quitting right now just doesn't seem possible. obviously i feel like crap most of the time and, ultimately, i am hurting myself in the long run, but i just can't bring myself to do it.

i don't know why anyone would smoke. it literally does kill you. a girl just walked by my window smoking a cigarette and i wondered how she started and if she regretted it. i'll tell you, it was the worst decision of my life but at the same time, what are you going to do. there's gotta be a reason for TRUTH propaganda commercials and pack a day smokers who live until they're 90. i don't think i would be that fortunate.

maybe i'm afraid of getting fat

maybe i already am fat

maybe it doesn't matter either way

one day i'll be smoke free

until then, i will smoke my last cig and head over the gas station.

oh and it's expensive too

i am shot

This has been one of the least productive yet surprisingly refreshing weekends I've ever had at Fairfield. That's not saying all that much since traditions at Fairfield have disappeared faster than my current attention span.

Class has become a daily struggle - the cold I've been battling, professors, has been keeping me grounded with my usual cigarettes really the only way I can enjoy the gorgeous weather.

Anyway, it's time to go to sleep because I feel like I haven't slept in days.

sympathy

i've been too busy even to realize the full spectrum of the tragedy that occurred this week at Va. tech. it affects all of us and we need to realize that something like this can happen anywhere. and we can't hate koreans because the kid who did was a recluse, fitting the profile of the columbine kids.

no use rehashing already sore wounds, my condolences go out to all those in any way connected.

i'm at barone right now which means the runs are coming strong and swift.

take care

feeling crappy with cigarettes

i feel like dog ass.


i actually don't know how a dog's ass feels like but i can imagine this is how i would feel if i was actually in a dog's asshole.


it's been raining out for too long, i almost don't remember that it's supposed to be spring time. i'm at a loss: tired, burnt out from school, sick with what feels like the flu, a long night of drinking ahead and school work that i don't know how exactly i am going to finish before the end of the semester.

imus should not have been fired - black people and white people both need to change. an open mind, not power hungry, slobs like al sharpton and jesse jackson, (reverends of propoganda if you ask me) will spur change. the way people think, the way they interact, they were they treat each other and how they treat themselves all tie into this. oh yea, i heard from the reverends already but why haven't any women's rights groups said anything about the "hoe" in "nappy headed hos"

getting up tomorrow will be miserable especially when i feel like this - i'll probably step in a puddle in front of jogues and have to walk through the day with a wet sock - i'll get back, shoe will probably smell like a wet dog with diareah and i'll be in the same predicament as i am right now.

maybe i'll get lucky tonight, who knows but for now, it's time for a cigarette.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Well, I drank too much last night and that micro economics test is in a couple hours. It's a beautiful day though so that gives me reason to believe that I once again will not be passing a micro test.

I was thinking about a couple things after I threw up this morning. Walking through the quad, people talk about so much nonsensical but important to them stuff. Have we really become a Fairfield community of idiots? Who discusses an interesting book they read on their own time or a documentary they just watched about social injustices?

I'll say this though and I don't think this is different at most schools, but nobody cares about discussing Iraq or Don Imus when they could just kick back, light a cigarette and crack a St. Pauly Girl. I'll blame the school for that: classes here are either really good or really bad. There's no in between for the simple reason that if the teacher sucks, you're stuck with either a rediculous amount of busy work or a class under your belt that kept you well rested in your bed.

Sometimes, the choices we make are not sound by anyone’s standards; that’s the reason we’re students at Fairfield. It’s because we’re not quite there yet in the world where we can venture out on our own, so we live in dorms like Jogues instead. I’d say that’s a fair trade off.

Sure, there are more constructive things to do other than getting plastered. But you cannot choose when you’ll have a heavy work week or when you’ll have time to unwind a little. And that’s the whole problem. Erratic schedules and bedtimes that are the beginning of a day for some people leave very little “me” time.

So go out, have a good time, don't sweat what doesn't matter and if you grab a no name heavy, make sure you do not call her back.